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Monthly Archives: January 2013

Melt Down

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Don't get me wrong when I say it's not the cure because IT IS HELPING. Opening up, talking and sharing my grief is what has been the most therapeutic. It's also the part I feared the most.

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Barefooted … for now

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Despite the overwhelming support I received following my last post ("A Firefighter's Boots"), I was NOT able to return to duty and put mine back on. It wasn't because I didn't want to ... I did and you folks were a HUGE part of the reason why.

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A firefighter's boots

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I've been in a dark place following my brother's death two weeks ago and my boots continue to consume my thoughts. You can tell by just the few examples I gave above that we have many options (or choices) when it comes to our boots. One of the biggest however is the one I didn't mention and the same one I'm facing now ... knowing when (and how) to put them back on or to just hang them up.

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Searching for a "new normal"

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My life has revolved around "the job". It's what I was taught and all I've known. A lot of times (most times actually), my Fire Department family came first because my home family "understood". They were or should have been as strong and tough as me (or so I thought). They (the home family), could and would "do without" certain things knowing that I was somewhere else because that's where I thought I was needed most. Today I know I'm not near as smart or tough as I thought I was and that I was more often than not in the wrong place.

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Thank you!

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I wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU for all the thoughts, prayers, comments, e-mails and general support my family and I have received over the past week. Your sympathy, love and heart felt kindness has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

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