Family

Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the Corp but many other members of my family would grow to serve. Several are still serving and I couldn't be more proud of our history.

I've been saying it for years now.... if we can't take care of our own families, what would make us think we can take care of someone else's ... a complete strangers ... the same people we are sworn to protect and serve? Think about that for a minute.

Boots Worked for me on C-shift, Station #13. He was our Senior Firefighter. He was a mentor to many. A Brother, son, husband, good friend and generous, unselfish, giving man. He was loved and will be missed by many!

This was not an accident. It wasn't a car wreck or an act of violence by someone else's hand. This wasn't a stranger I was looking at ... it was my brother laying there ... it was JACKSON and I knew what I was seeing. He was dead. What I didn't know was why.

What I did yesterday was a lot like "searching". Searching on or above the fire floor. Crawling on your belly in pitch black ... complete darkness... "Zero Visibility" (another link worth your click). Not knowing what lies ahead, where you're going or what you may encounter along the way. Reaching out trying to find something ... someone but also hoping you wont. What will we find? Life, death or something in between?

Maybe my "value" can be found in being a firefighter? In being on the job and willing to help others ... to die if need be for complete strangers. IS there "value" in what we do? Who's and how much? How do you measure it?

For those of you not on the job I'll offer this brief explanation. "Making the push" is what Firefighters do once they get to (or near) the fire floor / room. It's what happens after we get to the point of no return... to the point of attack (or a difficult search).

I can't describe the feeling in your gut as you're crawling down that dark, hot hallway. So dark that you can't see the lens of your face piece and so hot that your bottle is hot enough to heat the air you try to breath. I can't tell you why it is that we keep pushing / going but we do.

What if he hadn't picked me? Was this his last good meal? Where is he now? This man is someone's son. He may even be someone's father, brother etc. How many people have I neglected to help throughout my life? As a Firefighter, isn't that what I'm supposed to do... help others? Is that not what I "signed up" for? So many thoughts clouded my mind.

My mother-in-law, Susie Mitchel Martin; passed away unexpectedly this weekend. Obviously, all my attention has been directed toward supporting my wife and family. I want to thank you for all the cards, e-mails, messages, thoughts, prayers etc.