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Captain Joe Schmoe. Photo by Captain Wines of

Today, Captain Joe Schmoe of  Report on Conditions  will do something half assed….

He will only work half  of his tour.  He will only work half because it is his last.  Today Captain Schmoe will retire.

He has pulled his time and done his duty. He has survived to  return home  to his sons and the “Saint” that he is married to. I foresee many days of desert exploring and fire buffing in the old “el cheap-o jeep-o” … LUCKY BASTARD!

Anyway, I just wanted to tell the Capt congratulations, WELL DONE,  good luck and enjoy.  I also wanted to remind him of the twelve  words he will need to remember for his 1/2 shift tomorrow …

” Dispatch … send NEXT DUE. We’re out of service due to mechanical issues”


Captain Wines

Comments - Add Yours

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  • Fire Critic

    Congratulations Schmoe! I am certain it is hard to leave something you love so much. It might take a little while, but I am sure you will transition into retirement just fine. Enjoy it, this is what you have been working for!

  • Is he married

    Leaving something behind is always a hard things, but all things come to an end and something new will begin. Good luck to new beginnings!

  • Pingback: Captain Joe Schmoe Retires | The Fire Critic()

  • Joseph Schmoe

    Thanks Willie, it was great hearing from you, a great beginning to a wonderful day. You are absolutely freaking right I AM a lucky bastard! I am lucky to have been involved in a profession where I got to know people whom I could count on in dire situations and one where I was able to do some of the stuff that I did.

    An amazing experience indeed.

    Thanks again Willie

  • FireMedic

    Yeah! Another made it out. Good luck in retirement.